The last few years have been a whirlwind of all the things that life can bring. Let’s start with the good. It is amazing how fast these two have grown from babies to teenagers. 15 and 13 to be exact.  Watching the grow into their own with their own thoughts and ideas about the world and how it should be is quite magical. I would not trade one single day! What else has been good? Well, the fact that I am living a life that is pleasant, calm, and happy with friends that have been with me for years and those who are new. I find it interesting that due to my profession, my new friends are all in their 30s while I round out 54 years on this earth.

Being 54 has been interesting. No matter what you think you have heard about menopause, it is far worse when you are going through it. I apologize to all who have mentioned hot flashes to me in the past and I paid you no attention and offered no comfort Hot flashes and night sweats are hell, They come on with no warning, they go away just as quickly, and just when you think they are gone for good, they return with a vengeance. You will think you have found the right supplement and feel fine, but then you’re sweating again

Then, there is the joint pain that causes pain in the oddest places, makes my finger hurt at night, and then feel great in the morning. The nights are unpredictable. Some are filled with peaceful sleep and others are void of any sleep. There is no way to know which way it is going to go. Each night is a crap shoot. I cheer when I wake up and feel like I have slept. Those mornings are few.

Cancer.  As I get older, more people around me are diagnosed with some type of cancer. For men, the chances are 1:2 and for women, 1:3. So, I fear my time is coming. For my partner, it came in 2021, about a month before he turned 60. What the drug manufacturers want us to believe and the “advances in technology” are less “field of daisy-ish” when it happens to you or someone you care about. Cancer and the treatment are not for the faint of heart and I bow to anyone who has gone through it.

These are just fragments of what’s to come but for now, I just needed to get it out there that being in my mid-50s has been no joke! For the first time in my life, I feel old, I think about my medical future and worry about how long I will have with people and things that I love. Even pets are starting to lose their hearing and age in ways that make me aware that our time is short.