After being single for 18 years, I have been in a committed relationship for almost a year. I have spent a lot of time thinking, “I am definitely not doing this right.” I also think, “I wish I had dated when I was younger and then, I would know what to do.” I have recently realized that none of these thoughts are true but it took finding the right person, who is patient, accepts that people show affection in different ways, and that it is okay. We liked the core of each other before we started dating and we still like that core today so we deal with the bumps (they are few) and we learn to navigate each other.
I was looking around site Whisper and discovered that I am not the only person who has dating fears. Before you hit the link below and read what 20 single people have to say. I will confess this about the first time I met my partner.
We met online, chatted on the phone, and texted for months before we actually met. I invited him over because I did not believe he had any questionable tendencies. As he was en-route, my first issue was that I never wear shoes in the house but now, I have to put on shoes. Believe it or not, this was a real struggle for me. I actually ended up calling him to say, “You might think this is crazy or that I am crazy but I will not be wearing shoes when you arrive.” He said, “okay”.
So, the next struggle was, what do I do when he gets here? Do I hug him, kiss him (we had talked about such things), or what. Well, he arrived and I attempted to hug him and he was, well, lukewarm. He said, “oh, I get a hug” with no attempt to hug me back. It was fine because hugging a man is not something I do. So, the evening progressed and then he left. We said our goodbyes without kissing or hugging and he was gone. We officially started dating about two weeks later. We have discussed our first meeting and he describes me as “cold”. I now understand that him rubbing my leg and moving closer too me was an indication that I should show some affection.
Well, after dating for 10 months, I just learned that when he rubs my leg, it is an indication that we should share some affection. Who knew? Clearly, not me. I thought I was doing just fine letting him rub my leg while I sat still for it to happen. Now that I know what to do, going forward, I shall join in.
The good thing is, we seem to be learning and growing together. He does things that he self corrects and so do I. I am literally laughing out loud right now. One is never beyond the age of learning something new. Enjoy the dating confessions.
I hope that you will share your dating fears in the comments.