Me On Pause (Not for the faint of heart. You have been warned.)


My current state seems to be “me on pause”, Actually, the truth of the matter is that the arrival of menopause has done more than cause me to pause, it has knocked me flat on my ass! One day, I was feeling great, happy, and hopeful about life. The next day, I turned one year older and could not stop crying. No seriously, for the last three months, if I have not been crying, I have felt as though I was going to cry at any moment.

thinker-1294493_640My question is this, where is the menopause ad or the easy to find information that would have given me a clue that this could happen? Current ads are generic, high-level, and certainly do not do justice to the realities of what menopause can be.

More important to me, why do women not talk about this as much as we talk about TV shows and where we had dinner? I have never understood why sex is such a taboo topic. For goodness sake, most everyone is doing it or has done it but yeah, that is not something we can talk about. The same with menopause. Everyone talks about the hot flashes and night sweats but I have not heard from anyone how quickly the hormones can shift; like I said, my shift was drastic and immediate.

black-and-white-1283234_640I know that everyone is different and no two people experience identical symptoms. However, I can, with confidence say, surely I know one person who has gone through a similar drastic emotional collapse due to menopausal hormones.

No one has told me this! I mentioned it in my previous post (A New Journey), is it because the worse we feel, the less we want to talk about what’s going on? Did someone tell me and I was too busy to listen. Maybe but i doubt it

The next thing that “me on pause” has caused is a “V” that has gone from being nice and hydrated for as long as I need it to be to a “V” that seems to run out of hydration within a few seconds. Yes, I have read that things do stop moisturizing.  But OVERNIGHT? Nope, I did not see that coming. Again, as women, why aren’t we talking about this. I know that others knew! Why are we keeping these secrets. Oh yes, this is too close to the uncomfortable conversation that is sex.


As confident and strong as I am, this lack of hydration pushed me into thoughts that I never imagined I would have. The first thought, “He is going to think that I am not turned on but I am totally turned on.”  “Where is the hydration????”  Each time that the hydration did not remain and over-the-counter assistance was required, I sank even lower. Now, know this, he was not bothered and likely never thought what I was thinking but the more it happened, the more those thoughts played in my head and the more I cried.

Why did I not know that my “V” would go from rain forest to desert overnight?

Finally, I did have to “Ask Google” for assistance. I quickly learned that there are methods to correct this problem but why did it have to happen for me to find out. If women just talked, I could have been proactive as opposed to reactive.

Just so you know, I bought Replens, moisturized it for a few weeks, and my “V” is hydrating like I knew it could. Will I have to use Replens again in the future? Likely yes.

Do I feel that this is something I should be talking about? Absolutely!!


Over the years, I have questioned whether I chose an appropriate name for this blog. Then periodically, I write a post that proves the blog name is more than appropriate. This post is one.

It is my hope to inspire conversations about the thoughts, feelings, and questions that we have (or don’t know we have) about sex and menopause.

I want women, everyone, to stop being afraid or too shy to talk about sex and menopause. and well, anything related to our bodies.

Experiencing discomfort, pleasure, pain, sadness, uncertainty, or fear are all part of who we are and cannot be avoided. If we have open, frank, candid discussions about what we are feeling and experiencing we can make life a little less scary and these conversations can help another person get through a situation or at least be prepared for what they may experience in the future.




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