Yesterday, September 12, 2016, I published two posts, Life in Pieces of Impact and Getting Beyond the Next Few Minutes. Each post had a radical impact on my thoughts and mood and both are still active in my mind today.
To my surprise, “Getting Beyond …” was a complicated piece to write. Those 500+ words were hard to extract and develop into, what I hope, was a meaningful post. The idea of how much one commits to an endeavor and the influence commitment has on the level of effort one exerts has been rolling around in my head for years and I was sure that I could write extensively on the topic. But when I attempted to “put pen to paper”, it did not flow easily and I struggled to make it come together in a way that would help the reader understand my points.
Throughout my writing, I began to feel that although a lot of ideas were in my head, my ability to make clean, meaningful connections for the reader was desperately lacking. Although I published the piece, I feel that it did not get to the heart of what I wanted the reader to understand. Taking what was in my head and transferring it into a meaningful experience for the reader was difficult and a radical shift from my previous writings. I was reminded that writing, even in small pieces, can bring unique struggles and I am having a hard time putting it behind me.
“Life in Pieces of Impact” was not a topic that I intended to write about on September 12th or anytime soon. As a matter of fact, I had not thought about the events contained in the post for a long time. However, as I was taking a break from “Getting Beyond ..” and reading other blogs, I felt an overwhelming need to write about my impact on the world. That piece was easy to write and those 1500+ words flowed faster than I could type.
Moments after publishing Life in Pieces of Impact, a radical shift occurred. I feel a lot of sadness. I am not sure why but maybe because writing the piece reminded me that the person who silently inspired me to start giving back has moved from the forefront of my mind to the rear view. I hardly ever think of him anymore.
Perhaps, I am sad because both posts reminded me that I have drifted too far from my desire to give back and I am caught up in doing, well, not a whole lot. Perhaps, writing about commitment and impact at the same time dredged up thoughts of things that I want to do but I am not putting forth any effort to accomplish because I lack the necessary commitment. I do not know what specifically caused my feelings of sadness but what a radical shift it has been.
I look forward to writing on topics that make me feel and force me to delve beneath the surface for meaning but I hope that how I am feeling right now does not happen very often. It is a heavy weight to carry and still get through the day with a smile on my face. I am glad that I was able to share my thoughts on the day after a blog post and I hope that you have found something meaningful in the post.