The title of this post comes from the Van Morrison song, Someone Like You. I could listen to this song 1000 times. Oh wait, I have! No matter how many times I hear it, I always choke on the line, “The best is yet to come”. This line makes me take a moment to reflect on what is wonderful in my life and how much better it is going to be! More important, I take a moment to think about why “the best is yet to come” is so meaningful to me.
I have never liked mysteries as part of my life. I want to know exactly what is going to happen so that I can prepare. Up to about the age of 46, knowing what was going to happen in my life was very important to me. I always needed to know how others felt about me. Were they going to be in my life for the long term? If I became close to someone, in a friendly way, I worried that one day, they would simply vanish. I literally lost sleep worrying.
If I have to admit the truth, one reason that I stayed single for 18 years is my fear that I would get into a relationship and then, the person would decide to leave. I know you cannot change someone’s mind and I would not try. I dreaded the pain and the tears so I simply focused on other aspects of my life that could not hurt me. My heart remained intact.
A few years ago, I became friends with someone and we quickly became very close. One day, I said, I wonder how long you are going to be in my life. The response, we will be friends as long as it is right. I felt sad and began to wish that we could be as close for forever as we were at that moment. Another conversation about our friendship led to the person saying to me, “Carolyn, sometimes angels come into our lives. We do not know when or why but for the time that they are with us, we must be gracious, thankful, and live in the moment.” I will never forget this for as long as I live. I play it in my head at least a few times each month. In the end, our friendship simply faded away. At the core, we are still friends but circumstances have lead us in different directions.
After the friendship faded, the pivotal moment was when I realized, I was not sad! The parting had not been painful at all. It happened as effortlessly and as peacefully as our friendship began. We simply moved on to the next chapter of our lives. We were supportive and close friends when we needed each other most, we gained what we needed from the experience, we became better for having come together, and we parted at a time where additional time as close friends likely would have become a detriment to our personal goals and happiness.
Why am I sharing this? This friendship taught me to let go of my need to know what the future holds. This friendship helped me to become more open with my feelings and my desire to share, with another person, the things that I normally keep inside. This friendship taught me that it is okay to be vulnerable and lean on another person. It taught me to be non-judgmental, to stop trying to guess another persons intentions, and to look inside the person and trust what I feel is in the heart.
I am a Pisces and I finally admit that I feel very deeply and strongly. Sometimes, my feelings are overwhelming.
This friendship taught me to listen to my inner voice. Not just listen, but truly hear it, trust it, and follow it. If I had not trusted my inner voice and had acquiesced to what I believe society finds acceptable, I would have missed the best friendship that I have ever had. A true friendship with no strings, no false pretenses, no expectations. I would have missed the opportunity to grow up.
If I had not trusted my inner voice, I would have passed on the friendship. I would have remained closed and missed the opportunity to receive the amazing things that have happened as a result of the friendship.
In the course of two years, this friendship came and went but I am grateful that it happened. This friendship occurred at a time in my life when I thought I was as good as I would ever be. I quickly learned that there was more work to be done on Carolyn. Accepting this friendship pushed me to a place that is better and more amazing than I ever imaged I would experience.
Today,. I would not be in a committed relationship if this friendship had not occurred. I would be too afraid of being hurt and I would never be able to get past what someone presents on the surface. I would never have seen the heart and allowed my beliefs and pride to move aside. I would have instantly shutdown my inner voice and moved along.
I have learned to love mysteries!
I have no desire to know exactly what is going to happen in my life. I want to live in the moment and respond to life as it presents. With each new event, I want to continue to block out the societal and cultural noise and let my inner voice guide me. If it feels right, I am going to do it without any regrets; regardless of the outcome.
So, I ask you this (from a Word Press list of blog ideas) If you could read a book containing all that has happened and will ever happen in your life, would you? If you choose to read it, you must read it cover to cover.